“It is in the stillest of moments that my mind takes the initiative to remove me from my current state. It is its will to excite me, an auto-mechanical defense against its own boredom. With great urgence and little warning do such thoughts catapult me elsewhere; to a world anew. A world with grand windows through which I may see you, recognizing the bliss with which you fill my days, and you the mystery in my nights; hidden yet ever-present to illuminate me in even the most somber of moods. Even when muddled by darkness and noise, you show me a silence so sweet I may savor its divine flavor.”—
i would say thank God… but i feel i deserve it anyway.
today i woke up late and made chocolate chip pancakes. and watched trueblood.. sorry if i’ve been on an ongoing rant about the show, sophie lent me season one and i need to finish and return it for she gets very protective of her dvds.
throat is kind sore and my nose is strangely runny. i must gargle with saltwater. but for fast acting relief i find myself spraying a very unappetizing chloraseptic spray down my throat every five minutes. it claims to be cherry, but i know better. i am a tad sickers as you may have realized. maybe that’s what the turkey sandwich taste was — the flu. whatever, i’ll get over this shit soon enough, and i could not resist!
right now i’m about to finish chapter ten of the scarlet letter, the lit homework ms. anderson assigned. in hefty clumps in comparison with the reading in the road. why, we had a week to read — and there were only like, ten words on each page. not a bad book at all.. i just am not especially enthralled in why ugly puritan townspeople are in Hester Prynne’s person affairs. i believe they are upset because she is beautiful and they are… homely looking people who couldn’t get laid if their life depended on it.
yesterday during my rejoicing - keep in mind i did do a little bit of work - that school would be out today my dad waltzes in my room and says “what a perfect day to catch up on work.”
um. excuse me. who the fuck invited you in. and who the fuck cares what you think i should do.
and today after he calls me down to talk to my older sister about her retaking of the LSAT (no, dominique you already took it once and you don’t need a better score because duke has already asked for you to apply — impressive, no?) he says to me as i’m putting away the dishes
"i hope you’ve been catching up on school work."
"mm. what i do on my day off is none of your business. i’m in my room away from you for a reason. don’t fucking bother me with what you think i should do. i believe school work is my responsibility. else i’d pay someone to do it for me."
"oh. well, nicole i said i hope you’ve been catching up on schoolwork."
"shut the fuck up."
good think i’m good at talking really low.
sorry for always complaining about my dad. i bet you think i’m crazy. it seriously bothers me when he brings up school and shit when i’m minding my own business. something about it stresses me out and this simultaneously angers me. maybe that’s a problem of mine. no one else understands why it enrages me the way it does. i really don’t know but i can’t stand it. i don’t like being told what to do because i can do whatever the fuck i want and 9 times out of 10 there is nothign wrong with it. wow, that sounded very adolescent. maybe that’s why everyone hates us so much.
now i will finish Chapter X (The Leech and his Patient) then finish our bullshit Physics problems. i am still thankful for this day off. maybe i’ll take another bath later… haha.
and heard “amsterdam” by guster. this makes me happy.
last night was very enjoyable in a “girls night on the town” sort of way. after school, sophie dropped me off at her house while she got gas. while she was out my father called me and spoke to me as though I were a mute seven year old. With a bad leg.
[ “I’m picking you up at 8.”
"because julie’s sleepover. she’s leaving early too. so it would be convenient.."
"yeah i know. i mean, that’s what i told mom to tell you."
“yes and then we’re going to drop Julie off at French school. She’ll be there for three hours, so by 12 we’ll pick her up. So we’ll be out until then…”
“alright. 12, then.”
“no, I’m picking you up at 8.”
“I know. 12 is how long –”
“Nicole, listen to me, now. I will be picking you up from Sophie’s house at 8am and then dropping of Julie-“
“What the HELL. I know. I’m saying we’ll be OUT of the HOUSE until 12PM.”
“Your attitude…” ]
I ask you.
Xenia came over shortly after and we spent our time recounting awkward humorous moments and looking at tumblrsof strange flexible women. mesmerizing.
the highlight of the evening i must say was sophie’s freaking-crazy-grudge-exorcism face. like a bat out of hell, sophie fled her room to chase xenia and i around the house until the two of us sought safe haven in the parents’ bedroom. there was running, laughing and lots of tears. seriously, that shit was scary as fuck. we got her back though. there’s a shredded trojan behind her bed. haahahah
our devil friend then grew hungry and wanted to go out. i wanted a mcdonalds m&m mcflurry and xenia opted for starvation to save money for shopping the next day. we decided on figo in decatur. happyhappy. but once in decatur.. figo was nowhere to be found! (aka we drove aimlessly listening to miley cyrus.) so we walked to raging burrito (not before paying hte parting meter, all in pennies, mind you) and ate very well, despite the persistant smoke accumulations entering our lungs and clouding our thoughts compliments of the next table over.
amit and maya called and we hot-tailed over (after stopping for CHOCOLATE MILKSHAKKKKKESS) to hang out. most of the time at amit’s was spent making impressions of our blood-shot eyed apush teacher’s class. our favorite subject is a certain albino monkey we like to watch sleep. :)
next morning, i awoke at 8am (DAD..) and drove to the Container Store. we looked for half an hour and i bought a ten dollar coat rack, my father: a purple pencil holder and a rainbow filing portfolio. we’re a frugal people, the de Vastey’s. Now we’re at Caribou and just three seats over is Madame Blackwood. Bonjour, madame! Sooner than later, I look forward to visiting Deka for some chic workout attire. You know, so I can wear it and pretend to be all active and healthy…
how annoying it is to write an entire tumblr post only to have it completely deleted? and how it is when you try to ‘retrieve your entry’.. and the webpage sends you to some godforsaken popup site instead?
i don’t think i can. i don’t think i should. if i did, i’m sure i would get angry all over again like i did last night.
so instead of hearing about my weekend and the very interesting movies i saw (they were on lifetime, but still..), the magnificent day i spent with andrew, and the many ways in which my parents are clueless, unfeeling androids, i will instead lighten your mood and hopefully mine with TEXTS FROM LAST NIGHT. WOOOO!
(202): if this week’s events in iraq have taught me anything, it’s that when pulling out, always expect a mess…
(651): sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure (1-651): you’ve officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
(425): i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice. (616): Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
(774): What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
(519): and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered “Simba”
(407): I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, “laaaterrr.”
(908): I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
(858): i mean you’re really good at taking the morning after pill…so you could put that on your resume.. (720): yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
(541): My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I’m addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You’re so dumped, that shit is sick.
(480): just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds. (1-480): i get a bj anyways so it’s really your choice. (480): k i’ll be over in 5.
thank god. since thursday i’ve been looking forward to this day(s). finish ‘the road’ for friday(i thought it was due monday — i had 100 pages left), study for an APAH test, my Vocab test, Physics test, and Math test. but now it’s over, and i think i did well on all of them. i THINK that is. God can always smite me with his all-knowing irony. He’s done it before.
and yesterday was tucker v. lakeside fball game. i think we lost. the game was lameish; the highlight was what sophie and i did before-hand with johnjohn. julia and erik joined us (in someone’s sketchy-ass garage) and it was a little party. until julia realized she locked her keys in her parents’ van. while it was running. for thirty or so minutes. julia scuffled for excuses (why she was in the neighborhood, why she got out of her car, how she locked her the keys) while erik called AAA and john demanded visine. (like a boyscout i came prepared, equipped with eyedrops.)
today today today
is a different story however. i’ve been trying to kill time (painting my nails, washing my face, taking a half an hour long shower, scouring facebook & tumblr for new and interesting information and watching dating in the dark) before go to andrew’s house. to eat dinner? with the family? i don’t know. sometimes i lose my apetite. heh.
sorry i haven’t written in a while. sorry this post was so fucking useless.