A) Is Whitney’s “date” outfit hideous. Like a black and white long sweater dress..covered in sequins. Why did Roxy say that Party City shit was cute?
B) The fact that Whitney’s date (supposed hot French guy) is making casual conversation by sharing about his time in Ethiopia. About how he was starving and dehydrated. About how he had to slit a camel open to drink water from its body. About how he got sick because the Camel-Hump-Water was infested with bacteria.
C) The fact that Kelly - Whit’s boss - said, “I think every girl should date a French guy. It’s a great way to learn a language. It’s also a great way to get banged.” Haha. Okay I like that one.
D) The fact that Olivia’s “friend”, Alexis is like a twenty year old senior citizen? She’s wearing pearls and a pale lavender sheath. Conversation was over their matching vintage Rolex and vintage Cartier watches. Also. If you listen to the way she says “discouraged”. I could kill her.
E) How funny it is when Erin gets angry at Joe’s praising Olivia’s choice in diamonds. Joe: "Olivia really has a talent for accessories." Erin’s response: "It makes me sick to my stomach when you say things like that."
F) That horrific “remix” of The Submarines, You Me and the Bourgeoisie. I used to love that song..
G) Whitney’s 5’10 frame looking like it weighs 90lbs. Where did her boobies go?
H) Does Robbie (assistant) look just like Olivia without hair? Are they related? Nepotism?
I) Erin’s creepy-ass-shit smug grin at when Joe chooses her choice for Fergie’s Elle Magazine cover. *shudder*
P.S. this is mostly Spencer. Because he’s so fucking hilarious.
*In reference to his flirting with Kristin, his friend of six years*
Brody:Nah, man, they’re’s plenty fish in the sea. I don’t need’a dip into the ‘homies’ for seconds..
..at least he’s hot.
*In reference to Heidi (plastic surgery addict)’s Mom’s reaction to her plastic surgery*
Spencer: Well, Heidi went home because like, she wanted some like, ‘Motherly Love’ and I guess Mrs. Montag didn’t have a good run on the moun-tain that day because she decided to rape my wife emotionally in every crevice of her body.
Friend: I think she was offended that her work of art wasn’t good enough.
Spencer: Yeah, but she’s not GOD. She didn’t MAKE Heidi. She’s just a VAGINA. And if you keep defending her, I’m gonna ask you to leave. You can defend her off my property. I am SO SERIOUS right now, I will personally carry you off of this property. Hear that, Lamb-y?
*In reference to talking shit about Heidi’s mother in front of Heidi’s sister, Holly who felt “truly disrespected”*
Spencer: For me, I was proud of myself for not doing what I wanted to do to you. Because what I wanted to do. and say to you ‘dear,’ WHO-OOOOOOO!!! I didn’t. Because I was PRAYING. Praying like I do EVERY DAY not to say the things I want to say EVERY DAY to you and your mom.
Heidi: I feel like your head is going to explode.
Holly: It’s disrespectful, The Bible says, ‘Honor thy Mother’!
Spencer: Hey, Preacher, Preacher his isn’t Bible Study, this is Earth. No one’s preaching here! This is LIFE. You’re a liar. You’re the biggest poser in this town and you’re going to burn for it. Go back to your real estate job. LIAR.
Oh, Tumbly-Wumbly, how I’ve fumbled and rumbled into a steep and steady jumble away from you. So humbled I am and chagrumbled as well, to have disbumbled myself from writing in so long. I’ve crumbled on silly picture posts pelumble and many music mumbles but I’m determined to post more than useless et ceterumble …It’s time to stop the kafumble and redumble to get back on track. Oh fellow Tumblies, Nicumble is back!
Except I barely have anything to write. Not a good start.
Well, who can blame me? Currently, I am supposed to be studying for my APUSH exam. May is the month of exams, it is. Every day, my patience shortens by one inch despite the fact junior year (fellow Tumblrites, we are majority juniors, aren’t we?) is almost over and I am very excited. My excitement, however, has been long overshadowed by an ominous stormcloud of shit. What is that shit? I’ll tell you what that shit is: that shit is EOCTS, Finals and AP Exams. Blahblah, I don’t care (except it is obvious that I do; why else would I speak with such passion and vigor?) about any of it! Don’t they know that? Don’t they know that I would sooner break my left leg than show up to Saturday morning class - that someone just SO happened to neglect teaching when they SHOULD have - from 8:00am - 1:00pm? Don’t they know that EOCT’s counting as large chunks of my (already fragile) grade only make me hate you more? And don’t they know that all those finals in two days is the worst - and longest upheld ritual - idea ever? *SIGH*
I tell you. After those AP Exams, as I would say to Julian: “You’re gonna see me. SEE me” (whatever that means…)
APAH will soon be all movies and APUSH.. well, we’ve got one more test after that and a (generously) easy ass final. Literature -for GOD’S SAKES, give me an A - is a class that only my most sincerest prayers may deliver me from. Physics is a trying an arduous 50 minute ordeal I must sourly endure for the remaining two weeks. French (please, I beg of you, don’t get me started) and in Trigonometry, luck may just fall upon me and bless me with a 90%. What have I forgotten? Oh Band. I forget Band only because it is the only class not troubling me. We’ve stopped playing our wretched instruments (of torture) and so we’ll soon resort to watching musicals. Joy.
That’s all for now. Time to continue watching the City (see, I’ve taken a pause from Whitney for you!). For all you City-Lovers, NOTE:
Whitney owns (everything).
Roxy is one lucky bitch (cool street photoshoot with hottayyy)
Erin is a beady-eyed, damaged haired wench
Olivia is (would be) cute (if she would stop it with her crazy side bangs)